April 25, 2018
When spring arrives, so do allergies. But many children seem to develop "allergies" toward their parents when they become teenagers. Symptoms usually start to develop around age 13, and can last for years.
Typically, this period of adolescence is frustrating for parents, since everything they do seems to embarrass their teen. But it's also difficult for teens to make the transition away from childhood dependency and toward adult independence.
According to pyschologist Lisa Damour, it’s normal for teens to act this way. "While we know, intuitively, that our children will not always admire and enjoy us the way they often do when they are young, it’s easier to part with our pedestals when we remember that our adolescents’ new allergies herald the next chapter in our relationships with them," she says in the New York Times.
While accepting their frustrations as a temporary side effect is important, it's okay to talk to them about the difference between being embarrassed by you and being rude. Honest conversations — where you acknowledge that it's normal for them to be embarassed by you, even confiding in them that you were once embarrassed by your own parents — could help alleviate tension and make the transition easier. Damour also suggests finding support from other parents who are going through the same thing.